Don’t say But, she repeated.
But… he started.
She rolled her eyes. There you go again. Why can’t you just be decisive for a change. Assertive. Focused.
I try, he said. Maybe I just lack those qualities.
I don’t think it’s that, she said, I think that things just stick in your throat. Stop you from speaking your truth. From saying what you mean. So instead, you’re a Butter.
A Butter. You skirt issues by not addressing them. You don’t get to the point. You keep saying But. So that you don’t have to go there.
Where do you think I need to go?
Only you can answer that.
Except I can’t.
Here, have a teaspoon of ghee, that might loosen things up for you.
The teaspoon was silver and with it she scooped up a golden spoonful from the small bucket. It glowed, warm and yellow and shiny. His mouth watered.
But…. he began again, looking doubtful, anxious even.
She rolled her eyes. And there you go again. Don’t be so fearful about everything. It’s only clarified butter you know.
What will it do?
With any luck, it will loosen your tongue for you, make you sing your own song. Speak your truth, so to speak. In India when people go down to the river, to the Ganges to sing and pay homage to their god and to nature, they swallow a spoonful of ghee to loosen the throat, to add sweetness to their voice.
He opened his mouth. He leaned in, and swallowed.
Seconds later, he opened his mouth again. Then, Ommmmmm.
On no, I’ve gone from a Butter to an Ummer, that’s even worse.
No, that didn’t sound like an Um to me, that sounded like Om.
You mean, Om as in Om Shanti?
That’s exactly what I mean! I think you’ve become Enlightened!
He frowned. I don’t feel Enlightened. Not that I would recognise it. I don’t think so anyway. I kind of feel the same.
That’s ok, ‘before enlightenment chop wood, carry water, after enlightenment chop wood, carry water’, and all that.
Okay. He sounded doubtful, still frowning.
Well, maybe it was just an Um, and that’s fine by me too. Anything’s better than listening to you go ‘But…’ all the time. Here, have another spoonful, just in case.
Prompted by Linda G Hill at
Stream of Consciousness Saturdays #SoCS